Accidents are a common sight in the UAE. People complain
about the Emiratis and while I do agree many of them drive too damned fast, the
fact is that other nationalities are just as bad.
For North Americans, getting your UAE license is just a
matter of getting your US license translated. All the Department of Licensing
actually looks at is the translation of your name. The reason I say that is because
I know of someone who got her UAE license using a VERY expired US license. This
easy process is the same for most European citizens as well.
For those from African, South American, and non GCC Asian
countries, it is not a fun process. These unfortunate people must attend
driving school and take a test. Since UAE drivers have to take the same test,
it can’t be hard. All of the people I know who had to go through this process
did not pass the first, second, or third time. That does say a lot about the drivers here but
they are not the whole problem.
First, let’s start with the speed limit. What is posted is
not the speed limit since tickets aren’t issued until you pass the speed limit
by 20km/h. This means that if the posted speed limit is 120km/h (75mph), the
actual speed limit is 140 km/h (87mph). You quickly learn where the traffic cameras are on the
roads you travel often and therefore there is NO speed limit. Only 1 of my 7
speeding tickets has been for a violation in a 120 zone. I blame Metallica and
the fact that it was June 3rd. I was going 160km/h (99mph) when I remembered
the camera. I managed to slow to 150
before it triggered. 300 dirham lesson learned. I have cruised by police SUVs
on my way from Dubai to Abu Dhabi going 139; they don’t bother unless you go
past 140. There are very few actual police cars on the road monitoring traffic.
Only 1 of my 7 speeding tickets has been from an actual human.
Second, if you think New Jersey drivers are aggressive in the left lane, think again. Here drivers flash their high beams and give you about 30
seconds to GTF out of their way. After that, they pass you in the shoulder. Come
to think of it, they pass you on the right shoulder too if they feel like it.
People here do not like to wait their turn. They will often take their SUVs off
road to bypass slow moving traffic.
Third, turn signal anyone? You can tell the westerners, we
are the ones who use our turn signals. Changing lanes, exiting, turning…nope
not a turn signal in sight.
Fourth, there are roundabouts everywhere. I thought it was
kind of cool how they have a little system going: if you are going one exit,
you stay in the far lane; for two exits, you go to the center lane; for three
exits or a u-turn, you go into the true center of the roundabout. BUT THEY
NEVER GET OUT OF THAT LANE. This is a problem if the person next to you has
just entered the roundabout into the center lane and is going one exit further
than you.
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| One corner of the "square-about from hell". |
Last but not least,
people here hate to wait. I know I addressed this before but it is a special problem
where I live now. I have to traverse the “roundabout from hell” every morning
to get out of here. Since I am going to school, so are all the kids that live
here. That means buses. Lots of buses. The Al Nahda Park roundabout is more of
a square-round, therefore at the rounded parts there isn’t enough room for a
bus and a car to pass through at the same time. That doesn’t stop the morons from
deciding to squeeze into the traffic on the roundabout as a bus is navigating
the curve. What results is a cluster fuck of monumental proportions. Neither
the bus nor the car can move, or the worst case scenario occurs and the bus decides
to move, and ends up hitting the car. Which leads us to SAEED………
SAEED is the department that handles traffic accidents. Apparently
they cannot determine what happened unless the cars remain EXACTLY WHERE the
impact occurred. Since honking your horn is apparently going to change the
course of history, everyone honks. Nothing
moves until after the SAEED guy looks, pulls out his Blackberry, and takes
photos.
I had the unfortunate need to avail myself of SAEED’s
services on December 1st when a taxi driver, apparently
confused by my left turn signal, passed me on the left as I was turning into my
parking garage. This was a long and painfully drawn out process as nobody at
the Sharjah Police station could figure out our location. Remember, there are
no addresses here. The officer finally arrived and took both statements. He looked
at my much EXPIRED registration (that’s another story) and started to say
something right as I handed him my very current car insurance policy. “Ahhh,
mafi mushcala”. The report was entered into the computer in his car, I was
handed a referral form that was totally in Arabic, and he told me the name of Sharjah
City Taxi’s insurance company.
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| This is the computer image of the accident from the Saeed report. |
Since December 1st and 2nd were the
National Day holiday, I couldn’t file a claim until December 3rd. The
car was towed that night, repaired, and I retook custody of Smurfette on December
7th. They handed me papers, in Arabic, to sign. I asked for a copy
and was refused. That’s right, piss off a Jersey Girl who has been without wheels
for a week. The saga continues…………
